Akatsuki Home Videos
by Rockcrab
Summary: Just some random deciding of what videos to watch followed by the videos themselves. So Read and Review so the Akatsuki can go back to their lives.
1. Decisions, Decisions

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto. If somebody thought of these ideas already, I didn't see them, and I'm sorry. If you say so in a PM or in a review, I will read your story and if I see evidence of it, I will put your name in giving you credit and saying sorry yet again, ok?

Author's note- when I started writing this chapter I didn't know what to do, so I'm gonna wing it.

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The video is put in the player and all of the Akastuki gather around. The screen flickers to life. Of coarse the video is editted! I mean if Hidan's in it...

"Ok guys, and girl..." Pein starts to say, "Which one should we watch? The one where we went to Konoha for vacation, the one when we went to the... uh, Build-a-Bear place, or the one where we all went to the hidden village of the sand and got beaten up by Gaara? We will eventually watch them all, but we will start with one. Ummm, lets let Itachi pick first..."

"I don't care." says Itachi.

"Pick Tobi, pick Tobi!" says Tobi happily.

"Ok, um, Hidan how about you pick?" says Pein.

"I don't ----ing care either." says Hidan.

"Pick Tobi! Oh, pick Tobi!" says Tobi.

"How about you Deidara? What do you want?" asks Pein.

"No, un." says Deidara.

"Uh, Kakuzu?" asks Pein.

"I don't see anything in it for me..." says Kakuzu.

"I'll pay you to pick Kakuzu." says Pein.

"How much?" asks Kakuzu.

"Pick Tobi!" yells Tobi.

"Uh, a dollar." says Pein.

"Forget it." says Kakuzu.

"Fine. I guess we'll let Tobi pick." says Pein sadly.

"Yay! Tobi gets to pick!" says Tobi.

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Author's note- Ok, I'll let you people pick the video. I give you until I come back to write more.


	2. Buildabear Workshop

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto.

Author's note- So many stories... so little time... and let's see who won the vote so far... and I'm sorry if this isn't perfectly right, but I'm doing my best. I only have so much time to write these up. This is a nice, long chapter. And if it isn't perfect to the show, too bad. Pretend it is. For example, Orochimaru is in the video, which actually makes sense, but everyone is still the same age as in the beggining of Naruto. That means all of them, the whole crew.

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"Hurry up and pick, Tobi, it's been three hours!" says Pein.

"Ok, ok... Tobi picks... uh... the... no... how about... no... or maybe... no..." says Tobi pacing the floor holding his head in confusion.

"JUST PICK TOBI!" yells Pein.

"Ok, ok Pein-sama! Tobi picks... the... Build-A-Bear one!" says Tobi after much thought.

"Fine." says Pein. Pein puts the video in the vcr and nothing happens. He reaches into it and pulls something out. It's money, and it's on fire. "Kakuzu!"

"AHHH!! MY MONEY'S ON FIRE!" yells Kakuzu who proceeds to snatch the money out of Pein's hands and runs it to the bathroom where he tried to put the fire out with a towel.

"Ok... let's start the video." says Pein. The vcr catches on fire and Pein throws it out the window. "Aw man! Kakuzu, you broke the vcr!"

"Sorry." yells Kakuzu from the bathroom. "Live MONEY! LIIIIVE!!"

"Now what?" says Pein.

"TOBI! PICK TOBI!" yells Tobi.

"What Tobi." says Pein sitting heavily on the couch and then he mumbles, "That's it for trying to get the group to spend any time with each other..." Everyone relaxes knowing they won't have to watch a video.

"Tobi has a vcr in his room! Should Tobi get it?" asks Tobi.

"Yes!" says Pein.

"Ok! Tobi's a good boy!" says Tobi. Tobi returns with a vcr with a picture of the wiggles on it.

"Ummm... good enough." says Pein taking the vcr and plugging it into the tv. Hidan looks about ready to kill Tobi, then again so does everyone except Pein, and Tobi. Itachi just rests his head on his hands. Zetzu looks hungrier.

The video is put in and the screen flickers to life. This is what follows on the screen (this was back when Orochimaru was in the Akatsuki)...

**Tobi, Hidan, Pein, Kakuzu, Itachi, Deidara, Zetzu, Sasori, Kisame, and Orochimaru were sitting in a room (no one else could make it to the meeting, and Konan (I think that's her name) was controling the camera). Everyone was sitting arund waiting for Pein to talk, and Tobi was bouncing around asking everyone their names.**

**"Who are you?" asks Pein to Tobi.**

**"TOBI IS TOBI!" Yells Tobi.**

**"Whatever," says Pein, "You can come too."**

**"What the f-- does that mean?" asks Hidan.**

**"I have put 100 different names in the hat on the right. Not all of them are people we know." says Pein. "You will each pick one and then we will go to this place I found in the middle of no where and make a bear that looks like that person."**

**Everyone looks at Pein like he has three heads, except Itachi and Tobi. Itachi looks up, and Tobi claps happily.**

**"Come on guys... just this once." says Pein.**

**"Fine..." says everyone.**

**"Itachi, you're first." says Pein. Itachi reaches into the bag and pulls out a card. "Well who did you get?"**

**"Sasuke." says Itachi closing his eyes.**

**"Haha," says Pein. Itachi opens his eyes and looks up at Pein. "I mean... sorry, but all picks are final. Tobi, you can go next." Tobi reaches into the hat and picks out a name.**

**"Tobi got Deidara!" says Tobi happily. "Who's Deidara?"**

**"Deidara is the guy over there with the blonde hair. The one sitting next to the puppet with red hair." says Pein.**

**"Yay! Tobi got someone in this room! Tobi will be Deidara's friend!" says Tobi. Deidara closes his eyes and cringes. Sasori looks up at Tobi and then back at Deidara. Then Sasori shrugs his shoulders.**

**"Ok, next to pick will be Deidara." says Pein.**

**"Fine." says Deidara. He reaches into the hat and pulls out a card. "It's... Ino? Doesn't that mean pig? How do I make a pig out of a bear?"**

**"It's a different Ino. It's a girl with blonde hair. Here's a picture." says Pein handing Deidara a picture.**

**"Oh." says Deidara glancing at the picture annoyedly.**

**"Next is Kakuzu..." says Pein.**

**"Money live! LIVE OR I KILL YOU! COME ON, LIVE!" yells Kakuzu, then they hear kakuzu falling on the floor pounding his fists.**

**"Ok, we'll let Kakuzu pick last. Next will be Hidan." says Pein. Hidan reaches into a hat and takes out a card.**

**"What the f--?" says Hidan, "Cheer bear? What the f-- is a 'cheer bear'?"**

**"Here's a picture." says Pein handing him a picture of a pink care bear.**

**"..." Hidan doesn't say anything. He just looks really mad and tears the picture in half with his sythe.**

**Pein chuckles uneasily. "That almost hit my hand, be more careful, and I have an extra picture." Hidan takes the picture and mumbles something. "What did you say?"**

**"I said that I can't f--ing believe I missed." says Hidan. Pein gulps and then looks down.**

**"Next is Orochimaru." says Pein. Orochimaru reaches into the hat and picks out a name.**

**"Itachi-kun." says Orochimaru. Itachi glances up. Orochimaru looks at him. Itachi looks back down.**

**"Ok..." says Pein. "Next is Zetzu." Zetzu reaches into the hat.**

**"I got Kakashi." says Zetzu. "Sounds tasty."**

**"Don't eat the card, oh, and here's a picture. Don't eat that either." says Pein. "Next is Sasori." Sasori reaches into the hat and pulls out a card.**

**"Pinnocio?" says Sasori.**

**"A puppet that turns into a real boy. Here's a picture." says Pein covering a laugh with a cough.**

**"Great." says Sasori sitting back down.**

**"Kisame! Your turn." says Pein. Kisame reaches into the bag and pulls out a card.**

**"I got shark boy." says Kisame rolling his eyes.**

**"From that movie shark boy and lava girl!" says Tobi.**

**"That kid insulted shark kind." says Kisame folding his arms over his chest.**

**"You watched that?" asks Pein.**

**"No choice. My mom thought it was cute and that it would give me a cheerier disposition. That was the day before I left." says Kisame.**

**"Oh. Next is you Kakuzu." says Pein.**

**"NO! THE MONEY IS DYING! WAIT A MINUTE! YOU GO NEXT PEIN!" says Kakuzu.**

**"It's PEIN-SAMA!" says Pein.**

**"WHATEVER! LIVE MONEY!! CPR, CPR!!" yells Kakuzu.**

**"Fine, I'll go next." says Pein reaching into the hat and pulling out a card. "I picked Harry Potter. I guess I can deal with that. KAKUZU! IT'S YOUR TURN! FORGET ABOUT THE MONEY!"**

**"I'm here, and I saved the money!" says Kakuzu.**

**"Good. Let me see." says Pein. Kakuzu gives him the money. Pein puts it in his pocket. "I need to pay for this Build-a-bear thing."**

**"WHAT!? Give me the money back!" says Kakuzu.**

**"I'm sorry, but I can't." says Pein. "Now pick from the hat."**

**"Fine..." says Kakuzu dejectedly. Kakuzu picks from the hat and hold up his card.**

**"I got Charlie Bucket." says Kakuzu shrugging.**

**"I love that movie that he's in! He's that poor, little boy isn't he!" says Tobi.**

**"Yes, he is." says Pein.**

**"I got a poor, good boy..." says Kakuzu with a hint of anger.**

**"TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!" says Tobi happily.**

**Kakuzu groans and rubs his temples.**

**"Everyone picked?" asks Pein.**

**Everyone groans except Tobi who yells 'HOORAY!' and Itachi who nods slighly.**

**They all leave the hide out and walk to the nearest build-a-bear. They get several people stairing at them and about seven fights with people, all of the fights lasted about 3 seconds thanks to Itachi. After about four days of walking they finally make it to the build-a-bear place. So now they are at the place and they enter the building.**

**"TOBI WANTS TO GO FIRST!" yells Tobi.**

**"Ok, ok Tobi can go first..." says Pein.**

**"Oh great." says Deidara, "He better get my hair right."**

**Tobi picks out a spotted black bear from the shelf, puts a fake heart in it and then stuffs it. Deidara shrugs his shoulders. He doesn't look like that.**

**"Ok, well whoever is next better get started." says Pein. Itachi stands up and picks out a tannish colored bear. "That's the spirit Itachi."**

**Zetzu stands up and picks out a silverishly colored bear. "Good choice!" says Pein, happy people are giving in.**

**"It looked the tastiest." says Zetzu.**

**Tobi comes back with the black spotted bear and it looks remarkably like Deidara. "Tobi finished, Tobi finished!" yells Tobi bouncing up and down around Deidara. Everyone else just starts making the bear. "Guess what Tobi made it say! Tobi made it say 'BOOM'! Isn't that awesome?" says Tobi. Deidara semi-smiles. I mean come on, a little boy made a bear out of him and admires the bear. That means Tobi admires Deidara right?**

**Itachi walks over and hands Pien his bear. "I'm done." says Itachi.**

**"Good enough." says Pein. "He does resemble your brother." He pushes the sound button and the bear says (Sounding much like Sasuke because Sasuke and Itachi are related) 'I will kill you.'"Very nice Itachi, don't you want to keep it?"**

**"No." says Itachi.**

**"Too bad. You are keeping it." says Pein throwing the bear at Itachi.**

**"Fine." says Itachi catching the bear.**

**"Done. Can kill the f--ing bear now?" says Hidan holding a pink bear.**

**"No, you have to keep it forever." says Pein. "Or until death."**

**"I can't die you bastard!" yells Hidan.**

**"Well then just keep it forever." says Pein.**

**"..." Hidan doesn't respond, he's too angery.**

**"Done" says Orochimaru. He holds up the Itachi-bear and it says '...'. "What? Itachi-kun doesn't say much."**

**"Fine. You'll have to keep that." says Pein.**

**"No problem." says Orochimaru.**

**"I'm done." says Kisame unhappily.**

**"Good." says Pein. "You have to keep that."**

**"Ug.." says Kisame.**

**"Here." says Sasori giving Pein the Pinnocio bear.**

**"Good job. Hee's in his puppet form? Why?" asks Pein.**

**"Because it was easier. I wouldn't have to give him a heart this way." says Sasori.**

**"Oh, you have to keep him." says Pein. Sasori looks up at him.**

**"Fine." says Sasori angrily.**

**"Done." says Zetzu.**

**"Good let me see the Kakashi-bear." says Pein.**

**"I can't." says Zetzu.**

**"Why?" asks Pein.**

**"I ate it." says Zetzu. "It tasted really bad."**

**"YOU ATE IT?! Make it again." says Pein.**

**"Fine."**

**"Well I finished my Harry Potter." says Pein holding up a Harry-Potter-bear. Everyone basically ignores him except for Tobi. **

**"It's so cute!" says Tobi happily.**

**"Yeah..." says Pein.**

**"Tobi likes it!" says Tobi.**

**"Ok..." says Pein.**

**"I'm done." says Kakuzu.**

**"Let me see Charlie Bucket." says Pein.**

**"Fine here." says Kakuzu. **

**"I get to keep him right?" says Kakuzu worriedly.**

**"Yeah... you have to keep him." says Pein suspiciously.**

**"Ok, great. I'll be over here." says Kakuzu sighing and then sitting on a bench next to Hidan.**

**"Done." says Deidara.**

**"Good let me see." says Pein. Deidara hands him Ino. "Not bad, and the colors match well."**

**"Well there wasn't much to choose from and the colors just _had _to match." says Deidara.**

**"Makes sense." says Pein nodding his head. This was going better than he had planned.**

**"I'm done, again." says Zetzu.**

**"Good, let me see it." says Pein. Zetzu hands over the Kakshi-bear. "Not bad! How did you get his hair to defy gravity like that? I meant to ask Itachi, but he doesn't talk much anyways..." While Pein was rambling Zetzu went and sat down on another bench. He was having an inner struggle earlier.**

**_Flashback (Black side) White side_**

**(We should eat it again! Even though it tasted bad it was still something!)**

**Don't Dont... we shouldn't, we'll just have to make it again!**

**(Who cares if we have to make it again!)**

**I do! So should you. I'm getting bored.**

**(So?)**

**We can leave as soon as we're done.**

**(How do you know that?)**

**Look around! You have an eye too! Everyone else is done!**

**(Oh, maybe we shouldn't eat it.)**

**Exactly.**

**_Flash back over_**

**"Oh, here's your Kakashi-bear Zetzu!" says Pein. "Everyone done? Ok, let's leave."**

**"Finally." says Kakuzu jumping up. They all leave and head home. On the way back they avoid all fighting again thanks to Itachi and they all nearly 'lose' their bears, but only a few are kept. Tobi keeps his bear because he loves it, Orochimaru keeps his bear because it's of Itachi, Pein keeps his bear so he can be a 'good' example, and Kakuzu keeps his bear and hugs it all the way home.**

**"Are you ok Kakuzu?" asks Zetzu.**

**"Yes." answers Kakuzu, he'd been asked that for the whole three days. They finally are back at the Akatsuki hideout and Pein isn't happy.**

**"You all lost your bears on purpose didn't you?" yells Pein. No one responds. "Well except for Orochimaru, Tobi, Kakuzu, and myself... the rest of you will have to go back and remake them." Everyone that 'lost' their bear groans except Hidan who yells out many bad words. "Well it'll teach you to take care of your stuff."**

**The next day everyone sets off to build-a-bear except Konan, Kakuzu, and Orochimaru. Tobi wanted to go again and Pein had to make sure everyone actually went. So Kakuzu and Orochimaru are left alone in the Akatsuki hide out.**

**"So Kakuzu..." says Orochimaru.**

**"Yeah." says Kakuzu holding his bear still.**

**"What's up with that bear of yours? You're sticking to it like glue." says Orochimaru suspiciously.**

**"Nothing." says Kakuzu smiling.**

**"Really?" asks Orochimaru.**

**"Yes, really." says Kakuzu.**

**"Ok," says Orochimaru. Orochimaru gets off the couch and goes into his room to do who knows what, leaving Kakuzu and his bear on the couch. Kakuzu starts laughing hystericaly. "Are you ok?" yells Orochimaru from his room.**

**"I'm fine." Kakuzu chokes out.**

**"Weirdo." says Orochimaru dciding to ignore Kakuzu. Kakuzu takes out a kunia and turn the bear around to where they stitched him closed. He cuts the string ever so gently of so the bear opens up. Kakuzu laughs again out of control. The camera screen falls to the floor as Konan rushes over to Kakuzu to make him breath and to see if he's insane or not. When she was sure Kakuzu was fine she put the camera back up and put it on the stand. Then she left.**

**Kakuzu sat back up and took the bear again. Stuffing was falling out the back. He ripped out half the stuffing and then reached into the bear. He pulled out hundreds of dollars. "That was just too easy." Kakuzu says falling backwards on the couch again laughing. Kakuzu then looks over to the camera and swears. He walks over to it and then the screen goes blank.**

"Wow." says Pein. "I never thought Kakuzu had money in there."

"I thought I destroyed this video!" says Kakuzu.

"You did, but Tobi had copied it because he likes watching videos!" says Tobi.

"TOBI!" Yells Kakuzu.

"Bye Kakuzu!" yells Tobi running away.

"Well next time Itachi will pick the video!" says Pein. Itachi looks up. "Yes you Itachi." Itachi closes his eyes.

"Fine." says Itachi.

Author's note- That was the longest thing that I've ever written. So read and review so it isn't in vain.


	3. Oops

Sorry, I deleted chapter one and now its all messed up, so review for chapter two on this one, sorry...

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What to say...

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Ok, well I think this is what Itachi should say to Sasuke, because it's an awesome quote I saw once...

"I smile because you're my brother, and I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it."

Isn't that great?

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Now what...

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Oh well, Review for chapter two! That rhyme was a crime... That was so lame, I feel ashamed...

That was from Wizards of Waverly Place...

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Ok, bye!


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